by Alysia, Try Defying Gravity
It’s no secret. I fear change.
When we moved to a new town six years ago, I was a wreck. How would I find the bank? The cleaners? Would we be close to a Dunkin’ Donuts?
(note: I live in New England. We’re always close to a Dunkin’ Donuts)
On the last day of school, I’m more anxious than my kids about their new teacher assignment.
And don’t even get me started on the “Timeline” function on Facebook. Shudder.
But lately…life started getting more, um, complicated. I knew I had to do something. Change something.
I was drowning. I couldn’t breathe.
Making a major life change though? Scares the crap out of me.
I can’t make resolutions because I always fall flat. They are always bigger than me, bigger than what I can take on. Eat better. Join a gym. Get more sleep. All lofty and important goals.
All completely unattainable at this point in my life. If these were my goals, I would fail.
Not quite the outcome I need.
So instead of making a CHANGE, I’m making some changes.
Little “c”. And plural.
For me, I’m talking about things that make me feel better about myself. Bringing me back to me.
Like wearing my contacts again after 4 years. My one vanity.
Or maybe taking a shower every day. Ignoring the dishes while I have my coffee hot, not re-microwaved for the fourth time.
Wearing socks that match. Getting dressed. Taking the long way home when someone else is with the kids.
Saying “yes” when a friend asks to go out for a drink after the kids are asleep. Saying “no” to volunteering too much.
Watching a show like “Downton Abbey” so I can feel “in the know”, even though there are 3 baskets of laundry to put away.
To the average person, these may seem really silly. Like really, who can’t match their socks and shower every day?
Um, me. Right now these are huge achievements for me.
Little little changes. Baby steps. Big emotional payoff.
I can do these things.
And once I feel better – feel accomplished – then I can take on the bigger changes. The ones with a capital “C”.
One step at a time.
And I am no longer drowning.
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Come check out our Facebook page where we are cheering people on every day with the changes and CHANGES parents are making. Things like:
“I am going out with some neighborhood moms tomorrow night.”
“Today I took a shower so long, that I ran out of hot water! I can’t remember the last time I did that!”
“Putting my favorite pajama pants on, wrapping up like a burrito in my favorite blanket and putting my oxygen mask on.”
“My 02 moment: shopping for myself by myself, and not at the grocery store.”
“This is why I play roller derby. There is nothing more therapeutic than hitting your friends for a couple of hours.”
“finding time to work out, makes me feel better about myself, so i’m not so flustered at home!”
“Just took an intense, hilly hike for about 40 minutes. Worked up a good sweat.”
“Today I am going to take a short nap. It has been an excessively long day.”
What will you share with us today? What will can you change that will help you feel like…you?
“I’ve been thinking ’bout catching a train
Leave my phone machine by the radar range
Hello it’s me, I’m not at home
If you’d like to reach me, leave me alone
A change would do you good
A change would do you good
Hello, it’s me, I’m not at home
If you’d like to reach me, leave me alone” – A Change (Would Do You Good)
You’re getting there. I’m so proud of you. I love you. Smell my eyeballs?
Awesome, the little changes add up to a big change–in how you feel. xo
Funny, I’m a CHANGE kind of girl, and I still struggle with making time for me. I suppose I’m so busy focusing on changing schools, that I forget to tackle each goal on my personal IEP. Though I have to say, I will always make time for Downton Abbey.
You know, I never actually thought about the cumulative effect of making smaller changes…like putting on mascara every day, doing my hair just for me. (Don’t laugh; it’s true!) But you’re absolutely right. Looking back over the past week I can see I do feel better about myself even from those little things, which have empowered me to make more changes. Thanks for being an inspiration and bringing me some perspective. xo
Good for you, those small changes add up to a big change in your outlook. yesterday I had a facial for the first time in years. It took over an hour and was prohibitively expensive–but it totally recharged my batteries. It something that I’ve decided I would like to do 2x a year. I am through feeling guilty for taking care of myself. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy!
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In the words of Sam Cooke – “It’s been a long time coming, but I know change is gonna come – oh, yes, it will”.
These are great changes, I totally get how great they are! Yay you!
Wait, there are people who get to shower every day? I vaguely remember what that was like, but not since my oldest became mobile.
My youngest started preschool 2 afternoons a week. Most school days, as soon as his van takes him, I make myself lunch (that I don’t have to share), and catch up on the shows I like that are on too late for me to stay awake.