A Poet In My Own Mind: Autism

by Annie from Simple. IJustDo.

I enjoy writing.  Always have.  I took a creative writing course in college and had a great deal of fun, especially with poetry.  Fun does not necessarily translate into good, so I apologize in advance.  I’m not the type to subject my poetry on others, but when I ran across this poem that I must have written in a desperate moment, I’m guessing about three years ago (based on the Wubbzy reference), I thought it might resonate with others going through similar desperate moments.

Autism

Short

definition:

A neurological disorder…

Long

definition:

Something not quite

right.  Speech delay

Speech therapy, Occupational

therapy (hypersensitive, hyposensitive,

Gross motor – Gross like large not like

yucky, fine motor) From flashcards

to reading two years ahead

Obsess, obsess, Obsession

for months (Pizza rolls every single

night for dinner) (Wubbzy AGAIN?)

laughing, joking, never gets

old.  Still no empathy.

Logical, linear, Spock-like, must

follow the rules, follow the law, follow the

schedule.  No deviation, no changes, no

surprises, no fire drills or we derail.

anticipate, anticipate, anticipate

lay the clothes out, take the meds, follow the

schedule.  Nothing dirty, no holes, no stains,

hide the clothes when they get too small.  Still

might come back to bite you,

kick you, pull your hair, scream, cry, lie

down in the middle of the aisle

suffer the stares, the whispers, the grandma shaking her head, “Mm, mm, mm.”

(must learn that Vulcan death grip – what happens

when he gets bigger?)

What happens next? One day

One day at a time, one day

one day

Breathe, exhale and relax.

**********

Annie blogs at SimpleIJustDo.com: “I’m a single mom, He’s a special needs kid… Musings on the answer to the question, ‘How do you do it?'” She is “Mom” to a 10 year old boy with autism, and also a teacher, daughter, girlfriend, friend, and a whole bunch of other roles that make life a little more complicated, but enjoyable.

This post was originally published HERE and used with permission.

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4 Comments

Filed under Remembering to Breathe

4 responses to “A Poet In My Own Mind: Autism

  1. Your poem was incredibly expressive and had so much information all rolled up into one short story….. I would be interested to know, does autism still feel like this to you? Thank you for sharing.

    • There are good days and bad days. I have to say that it does feel like this on the bad days, usually in the moments of self-doubt and self-recrimination following a particularly nasty meltdown. As The Boy gets older, the challenges change – certain things get easier, other things become more difficult. It is still easy to get overwhelmed, but there are also more amazing moments, more moments of which to be extremely proud.

  2. Kristin Lenz

    That was very powerful, Annie. Thank you for sharing.

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